Talking To God

I have to talk to God,

God sometimes it seems so hard,

So hard just to be alive,

Even though I don’t want to die,

I dream of the day I can fly away,

Away to heaven that is,

God it seems I have bad luck,

But every real person should know there is no luck just blessings,

All I want is a little peace God,

A little help,

A little money,

A few dreams to come true,

A few family members and friends to stay true,

Lord Jesus instead all I get is a lot of stress and pain,

No one to help me,

Or call on your name on my behalf,

I live from paycheck to paycheck,

Always broke,

I can’t provide,

If money is out there God it always chooses to hide from me,

My dreams stay asleep and won’t awake,

My stars won’t fall from the sky and I’m to small to reach them,

My friends act very strange and unpredictable,

Sometimes they like me,

Sometimes they don’t,

Sometimes they speak to me,

Sometimes they won’t,

Family that’s another issue that I have to deal with,

God let me talk about me for awhile,

Lord I’m hurting,

I’m in pain,

My mind is cloudy with fear and dear God the rain,

Thank you Jesus for not letting me go insane,

I seem not to be able to think positive in this negative world,

I have a little girl,

Sometimes I feel like a terrible father,

And the truth of the matter is its because I feel like I have nothing to offer her,

No money,

No car,

I’m not the star I want her to look up to,

So as a father I don’t feel right,

I also fight with trust problems,

That messes me up,

I always feel the ones close to me are doing me wrong in secret and that one day I’ll find out, and my heart will be broken,

I don’t know how trust like I should because what would I do if I put all my trust into this person and they turn around and break it into pieces?

It would shatter a piece of my faith,

Another thing is Dear Lord,

I’m tired of the same old thing,

Work and home,

It’s frustrating,

Irritating,

And really makes me mad which puts a very bad presence into my life that I don’t need,

I almost hate this world I’m in sometimes because its like the people that don’t even believe in you are being blessed,

While I sit there and daydream,

I know people who don’t work,

And don’t pray,

And don’t have faith in you,

And who don’t praise your name,

That have enormous amounts of things that I feel I deserve,

It seems so absurd that an evil person can get rich and go to college have nice cars and clothes, and do the most horrible things with them,

And a Christian person who if they had the same things would use them all for your glory has nothing at all,

Lord Jesus where did I fall,

Was it when I was a child when I did all sorts of bad things,

Or as a man where my plan was just impress others and in the process destroy myself,

I am asking because I am sitting here waiting on a blessing that seems like its never going to come,

I go to church and listen to the preacher and listen to the members talk,

What they say is all well and good but they have made it where I want to be,

I’m not happy like them,

I’m sad,

I’m not in a good mood,

I’m mad,

The preacher don’t preach to me,

He preaches to the people with a degree in praise and worship, who say” God blessed me with a new job, a new car”,

Well you know what? There’s some of us out there who can’t say any of that and I’m one of them,

I love church but its also depressing,

Because I’ve studied some of these people who say they are so blessed and I’m like,” either they’re lying or I’m crazy,

I’m not lazy,

I’ve done the same thing’s they have done,

I’ve prayed and worshiped,

Tithed and offered,

Read and memorized,

Been kind to my neighbor as well as my enemy,

I’ve hated money and loved God,

Been faithful to church,

The same things they do and I can’t even count to two without a mental tear falling down my face,

So God what is it?

Are they lying to me to make themselves look good?

Do they cry themselves to sleep like me?

Do they struggle with their temper and attitude like me?

Or are they all smiles and sunshine like they try to come off to be,

You hear them say ” I’ve been through pain and suffering but glory be to God the day I met Jesus and he saved me”

Well, I’ve met Jesus on several occasions and I do feel you have saved me but I don’t feel rescued because I’m in the same sinking ship I was in before I met Jesus,

So why them not me?

Why am I locked up in this stupid dead in job with no car,

No friends I can trust

And they walk free?

I love you God with all my heart,

I just can’t see you,

God I’m taking to you because who else will understand?

Save me,

Bless me,

Help me,

I know I’m not cursed but I’m not happy either,

Never have been,

God I’m glad we had this talk,

Now please come walk with me and show me what to do so I can be blessed and happy,

God Please

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5 Responses to Talking To God

  1. Pedro Santana says:

    I know the feeling hard space to be in. Feeling like the walls are closing in even when seems impossible you gotta keep fighting. Keep things and people around you that bring growth and development . Bless bro

  2. You are definitely going to the right source by bringing your concerns directly to God. I assure you that everyone is facing some sort of issue. I just want to encourage you to keep holding on to God’s hand, and keep seeking Him through prayer. There are many unsaved people who do have great riches, but the sad honest truth is that wordly riches are worthless if a person does not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, becuase we can’t take our material things with us.

    The most important thing of value that you can give your child is: your love and your time. Let your child know that you love them as often as you can. Give them your time, even if its just: taking them out for a snack at McDonald’s, reading them a bedtime story, playing catch with a ball, or supporting them at school events. These are the tings that a child will remember most as they grow up. Most importantly teach your child to seek God for direction, just as you have so magnificently done in this post.

    Much respect to you, and I thank God in advance for granting your prayers, because they are coming from a sincere heart.

  3. myplace3187 says:

    I can relate to this poem. I feel the same way with not having enough at times. Being left out. Then I look at what I have and I know Our Heavenly Father and Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ work with The Holy Ghost are working for me as well. I have nothing except through them. Never give up just pray lots and believe you receive what you ask for.

  4. roninjax says:

    No doubt you speak from the heart and it is touching. Yes, it is often hard to understand why others appear to be blessed with so much. I’m happy for them. I also look at what Christ did. He left the glorious realm of Heaven to come here with no tangible blessings. Didn’t even have a bed to be born in and his very life was sought after as a child and as an adult. He didn’t have a home as an adult so He could focus on others – loving, healing and saving. Yet He understands our frustrations today – and He loves us unconditionally. Keep pressing toward the mark.

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